I usually just chat during nights and search for things if our teachers ask for it. And it’s still a wonder why I haven’t changed the layout yet. This is the layout I’ve used the longest, so far. Haha. And I’m sorry.

For the past summer, I was able to complete my OJT and build a website. I’m going to get paid for the site I made for an NGO this Friday. YAY! As for my OJT allowance, out IT Manager is still following up the HR Manger. I hope it’ll be fixed, sooner or later.

As for those who are interested in my so-called lovelife, things are actually pretty good. We’ve talked it over last Saturday and I never thought our feelings would cross. I’ve only seen this in my dream, never thought it’d be real.

I’ve been having mood swings lately though my monthly visitor just dropped by a week ago or so. I get upset and sad easily and I don’t know why. Even just the smallest things like “What a lame joke” as what my classmate told me made me upset. I’m crazy, obnoxious and an attention-seeker.

I have to stop this because I feel like I’m behaving like Tricia of PBB Teen Clash 2010, though I don’t tell anyone how I feel. As what I discovered recently, Tricia has this Histrionic personality and she annoys all of her house mates. Not a single soul likes her in the house, but they’re trying to help her.

It’s hard to keep your face straight and not to show that you’re unhappy.

It’s my birthday tomorrow – oh, it’s a few minutes from now as I make this post – and I’m supposed to be happy, but I’m not.

It’s been like this since June 1. June isn’t really a month for me.

It was through Friendster that I discovered blogging and I figured out it was relieving to have something where you can vent out your feelings. I guess most of the bloggers did go through Blogspot or Blogger, but believe it or not, I don’t have an account in either of the two. Fairy Tales and Castles(Yup, it’s Lifehouse-inspired ) is one of my earliest blogs. But then I got annoyed how limited their themes are, even though blog is powered by Wordpress, which I didn’t know at that time. Hahaha!

After I learned how to make sites and got hosted for free, I started blogging using Cutenews, but I wasn’t that satisfied, so I switched to Wordpress. I moved all my posts here in this site and promised that I’d only blog here. Oh well, I’m really unfaithful. XD I’m blogging on three sites. LOL. Maybe because I don’t want one to have multiple posts for one day, and lately I have this crazy tendency to blog whenever I’m online. I find it fun though.

Speaking of breaking promises, I kept on saying to myself that I woulnd’t make a Formspring account because I couldn’t exactly point out its use, but just recently, I did register an account. Haha. XD You are free to ask me some questions if you want.

Blogging really makes me happy. Thank goodness someone invented it. I’d love to meet him/her even just for a day! Hahaha.

I was planning on making a vector and changing my layout, but then I realized that our video card is busted. I would have wanted to use Illustrator but I don’t want to stress this little built-in video card that our motherboard has. Damn it. I’m the one who’s gonna receive all the rants from our mother and father. I really hope this video card isn’t busted for good. I hope I can fix this tomorrow when I clean our computer.

My dad has been telling me to look for laptops because he’d get me one. I still really don’t believe until I hold that thing with my both hands because it’d be so heartbreaking for me if what he said wasn’t true. I’m eyeing an Asus laptop, but if he’d get me a mini one, then that would do good too. I know that we’re not rich and I shouldn’t demand an expensive laptop. Having a cheap one is already more than enough for me. Gosh, can’t you tell I’m already looking forward to it? XD

I’m back to watching KDramas again. YAY! I missed these stuffs! Our internet is slow as usual, but I can wait! XD I’m watching Cinderella’s Sister and Personal Preferences. 8D Lee Min Ho is just sooo hot! :P Suggest me a good KDrama please?

And yeah, I’ll try to keep myself busy so that my attention won’t be diverted to those depressing things I’m going through lately.

If you're not interested, you can opt to read the previous post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you
I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care
I wouldn’t waste your time or my time in a love that’s going nowhere”

My last post for January! Yipee! Final’s coming and it’ll be summer again. Bwahaha. And yes, I’m inspired by Berlinda’s song I Wouldn’t Be Here If I Didn’t Love You. Yeah, I know the title’s pretty long. Unlike my previous love posts, this isn’t directed to anyone in particular, which is unusual I admit. Haha. My father is sleeping with the radio in its full volume so I can hear the songs being played by the current station and they’re all about love. Gosh. I can already feel that February is really the love month. Hahaha. But those songs remind me of two guys, who both play a different role in my life.

Speaking of my father, he was telling me lately that he’s going to buy me a laptop if my grades are good. I don’t know whether it’s true or it only serves as a bait for me to study. If it’s the latter, well, it’s working because I’m already motivated. LOL.

We were making our Database project last Friday and I realized that PHP and MySQL are a well-matched couple. And I even came up with a corny pick-up line: We’re like PHP and MySQL. We’re inseparable. Bwahaha. We haven’t finished half of the project and the deadline’s slowly arriving.

_{All this time, I knew someday you’d need to find something that you left behind, something I can’t give you.}

If you're not interested, you can opt to read the previous post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

If you're not interested, you can opt to read the previous post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

If you're not interested, you can opt to read the previous post. Sorry for the inconvenience.

The above verse was part of the song ‘If You Believe’ by Rachel Lampa. It’s actually one of the songs in A Walk To Remember OST. The story is so touching and made me believe that love can move mountains.

I was still young when I first saw it and couldn’t really relate to it, but I would giggle and have these moments of butterflies in my tummy which I couldn’t quite understand. :P All I thought back then was that when you see the person you like, you’d blush and your heart starts beating like crazy that your palms are wet with sweat and your voice get caught up in your throat that you couldn’t even say ‘Hi’ to him properly. I realized it’s not quite far from love as there’s a thin line between love and like but it’s not as deep. It’s not even half as deep. I wouldn’t even dare define it; it’s just too deep for words, even the best of swimmers get drowned when it comes to this thing, even genuises.

It has always amazed me how it made the world mad, how it made us truly happy, yet when when we get inflicted, the pain is too much yet you still hold on to that person despite of what everyone says.

How come a mere feeling rule over us that our brain are rendered helpless? Why is that no matter how intellegent you are, you become dumb when faced with a dilemma called love? I think this is one of the things that keep us going, one of life’s mysteries that we have to unfold as we go on our journey for I would never be satisfied if I leave this world without discovering about it.

And yes, I have delved into this thing, but not as deep as you’d think. I think I love someone. I’m not quite sure myself. I won’t even bother asking why; it would just drive me insane trying to figure out the reasons when all I know is there is none. Confusing, eh?